When the sun set on my birthday, I had spent 12-plus hours on my couch, looking out my living room window, waiting for a package that required my signature. It never came. Now I’m dead inside. I am 54. How did my life come to this? Let’s pull up my tracking number and see! Oct 12, 2021 (4:02 pm) Picked up in Brooklyn, N.Y. My package—let’s not concern ourselves with what it contains; all you need to know is that technology is involved, that the expensive device contained therein has improved specifications, that I desire it, that it will make my monotonous, stupid life worth living again—is on its way.…